Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Should have

I thought it was over, but apparently not.

My heart breaks a little more whenever I'm reminded of us. Nowadays, I get reminded more of the things you did not do for me, and the things you did not like about me. I ask myself why, a lot. It makes me sad that I put myself and let myself be in that situation. I should have fought for myself a little more, a little harder. While all I ever did was try so hard to understand you, I don't think I was being understood. You might not know this, but I think I was always overlooked. I refused to believe that, and only thought of you and for you. I was never the focus. There are things that happened that I still don't understand up to today, like why you got mad/upset on (more than) several occasions. I was always apologizing for things I could not understand. Now when I think of it, towards the end - when I was desperately clinging on, there were many hints that I should have taken. I should have let go earlier. I should have known.

I think I deserved more. There were times I did not feel good about myself, and I wondered why. I did not know much then, but I think I know now. I did everything I could and everyone knows how much I put into the relationship. But it was a toxic relationship, and I'm glad you pushed for the right choice. There were red flashing lights on multiple occasions - I really should have known.

After more than a year, I think I finally got the closure I needed. I needed for myself to realize that it wasn't my fault that things could not work out and that maybe it was, in fact, yours.


Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Losing Focus

I'm trying my hardest to keep myself motivated. And it's really getting harder each day...

One thing to look forward to: Last Friday, I booked my trip to Los Angeles (& Disneyland!!!) with my friend! We're only going to be there for a few days, but I'm super excited about going away! Can't wait to actually be in LA, and just chill out at a cafe! Hehehe! I'm also planning to ski in Vancouver, so fingers crossed for this one!

For now, let's keep focus Cand! #wishmeluck #iamgonnaneedit


Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Currently feeding on strong emo vibes

1. Jack of all trades, Master of none.

This phrase really describes me.

2. I love my mommy.

She's the best (and very funny too). I think I've reached the point where, if no one cares, it doesn't matter. I really don't need anyone else but her.

3. It's probably impossible, but I want to get on the Dean's list.

Or at least score all As for my courses these last two semesters. I do wish that I didn't have 4 midterms, and 2 assignments all in 9 days. But I got to suck it up!!! Come on Cand, you can do it! :)

4. I wish I had more sass. Like Jessi does. LOVE Jessi

Thursday, October 29, 2015


Here are my ramblings on - 

1. The Upcoming Winter Holidays: 
Since I end my exams super early this year, I was thinking if I should visit LA... But I really want to make London 2016 happen, so maybe I should save up the money instead. IDK!!! If I don't go I'll have a loooooong 3 weeks break, and I was thinking maybe I would go skiing somewhere near by instead, but hmm, skiing is expensive too. Besides, thanks to the El Nino effect this year, we don't know if the snow will be good... Fingers crossed for now! 

2. "I-really-want-to-spend-money-on-something-expensive": 
Recently, I've been really superficial and there are a lot of days where I just REALLY want to buy something expensive. So, I go onto shopping sites and just browse and browse for hours. There are so many things I cannot afford that I want - a Sophie Hulme mini box bag (with the "wish you were here" keyring!!!), the structured Fendi monster tote, the all white Saint Laurent sneakers, Kenzo sneakers - you get the drift. Eventually, I close the browsers because, quite unfortunately, I'm a broke bitch... Obviously, I can't afford to spend all that money all at once. 

It gets really hard in a society that places so much emphasis on materialism to stay focused and think of long term goals like saving to buy a house, or a car, for example. Maybe even to save up to go to Europe for my graduation trip. You get so many bloggers posting expensive things they bought (or were gifted), and they make me really want those products. But ultimately, it obviously boils down to whether I have the willpower (and obviously, the lack of the dolla-dolla-bills$ss$) to not buy that bag. 

3. Am currently repeating Adele's "Hello":
DAMN, her songs are sooo good!!! I've been hooked since it came out! My friends might be getting a little annoyed with me singing along to it LOL!!! My obsession with the song is quite atrocious!

4. ECON 454 - Theory of Corporate Finance:
It's almost 1am and I still have not started on studying for my dearest ECON 454... My most difficult course yet. Hmmmmm my only motivation is so that when my prof asks questions, I don't sound dumb! LOL!!! And also, I don't want to be THAT student who didn't do her homework. Since I sit in front, he asks me almost every time he allocates 'homework'. Omg, I'm gonna sound so dumb tmr... Better get studying now. Wish me luck!!!


Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Xcited for Xmas

It's not even Halloween yet, but I'm already getting increasingly excited for Christmas!!! I do hope it will be magical this year!!! 

XX, Cand

Monday, September 28, 2015

New School Term!!


As usual, this space has been extremely neglected...

I'm currently back in UVic now, for my last two semesters!!! YAS! That means that I will be graduating next upcoming summer! Right now, I just can't wait! I really want to finish school soon and finally get to work so I don't have to be so dependent on my parents anymore. I know I will regret saying this later... It's really a bitter-sweet feeling.

Right now, the only plans I have for myself are travel plans and I really hope I get to see Europe once more before I start working. And maybe Korea, again. And Aussie + NZ! I always have lots of ideas but they never come to reality... So many things I want to do before I graduate and I know these are things I probably won't be able to do when I start working.

Wish me luck!



"Why don't you be you?
And I'll be me..."

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Cand goes to Korea 2015: Day 4. Seoul - Garosugil, Hangang

For our first day in Seoul, we met with Jin!!! She was a darling and got us some delivery! You know how we all watch so many K dramas and we always see them ordering Jjajangmyun (Black Bean noodles)... Since we were in Korea, WE DID. YUM!!! Finally had the real thing and it did not disappoint! Happy!!! (I'm very simple, food makes me happy!!! HEHEHE)

We got this special thing which had half Jjajangmyun and half jampong (Spicy seafood soup)! We also ordered sweet and spicy (fried pork)! The shop gave us some gyozas for free! YAY :) What's better than yummy food?? FREE FOOD!

Hi I'm pretending to use my phone for this picture... Sup.

Our station - Sinsa! Seoul's subway is very extensive, so going anywhere is very convenient!!! 

We just walked through the Sinsa underpass and we went to Garosugil! No pictures because it was drizzling... But pictures with the bear from the LINE application! SO CUTE!!!

We walked around, then ended up going back before heading to Hangang! 

In the following photoset, you can totally tell we have been living together for two years now. Our coordination is the best! LOLOL! 

(Scary) KISSES?!?

Whatcha looking at???

We are quite wonderfully coordinated! LOLOL

I LOVE MY ROOMIE. HI JIN I LOVE YOU!!! You da best!!!!!

And that concludes our first day in Seoul! 


Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Cand goes to Korea 2015: Day 3. Rainy Day in Jeju

On our full day in Jeju, it was just our luck that it was raining. So we decided to tour museums that day (and we were SO glad we went to Seongsan Iluchubong on the first day). 

We visited O'Sulluc first, and the Innisfree Jeju outlet. We were just running into shelters, so no nice pictures of the buildings. I did not even take pictures of the food! It was all on snapchat though... 

Green Tea EVERYTHING. I don't like green tea, but the cake was pretty good and Isabel loved her latte. 

Next is the Innisfree house. There was a counter where you could make your own soap I think. We didn't bother with it, but it looked pretty cool. Innisfree is from Jeju, so they have a nice shop there, and even a coffeeshop in it. 

Went to Alive 3D museum next! It was interesting, but I would not want to revisit... There were way TOO many people (mostly rowdy students), and the exhibits were just okay. They did look quite real though!!! Really interesting. We didn't really spend a lot of time there. 

EEK. I found big foot!!!

So, after visiting Alive, we sat in the car for the longest time, deciding where to go... We really wanted to visit the Cheonjeyeon Waterfalls, but were hesitating because of the gloomy weather. We were hoping that by then the rain would stop, but obviously it did not. 

After much hesitation, we decided to head there anyway... We thought if we didn't, we would just be wasting a trip, and we might go in the rainy weather. LOL! 

It was quite misty, and still it looked pretty! The falls were really hidden behind the mist, and you can't really see it in the pictures... :( 

Here is Isabel showing you how how we walked about without our umbrellas because we did not bring them... Also, we refused to pay 3 SGD for a freaking poncho... Anyhow, look at the trees at the background!

We walked around the area for a bit before deciding we should move on since it was wet. Sat in the car for a bit before deciding to move on to our next destination.

Daheeyeon Cave Cafe. This was definitely not one of the places we planned on visiting, but thanks to the wet weather, we decided to drop by! The entrance fee was about 7SGD/person, but they give you a coupon to buy a drink. So it was essentially free to visit the cave cafe. You could just chill there, which was what we did. 

There was no one in the cafe, so we just sat there for a while, HOPING that the rain would go away (which it didn't) and took some pictures. Coffee here was pretty good! I think it was because we were cold, that a nice hot drink was our haven for a bit. 

The posing begins.

Hi mommy, I see you!!

It was really cold out, and Isabel ran inside for cover while I stayed outside with my mommy for a while. NEVER miss a photo opportunity!!! The best opportunities are those where nobody is around!

Don't the pictures look so gloomy??? They do have quite an eerie vibe don't they?? Damn, and here I am, uploading these pictures at 12am.

Anyway, we had to get to the car, so Isabel had to come out of the building... And we saw the nicest tea leaves field (? What do you call them??)! It was VAST, and there was nobody there... What did I say about never missing photo opportunities?? 

Isabel in the middle of the fields.

Isabel looking at the tea leaves.

Isabel pretending to look at the tea leaves intensely. LOL.

Mommy and I! 

"Feeling" the Jeju chillax vibe. 


We left for Jeju City and visited the Yongduam rock next. I think I drove ALL over Jeju that day. It wasn't that bad since we had a car! 

Yongduam Rock is a rock that looks like a dragon's head. It was smaller than expected, but still kinda cool to see! The rain had stopped by the time we arrived, that's always nice! 

My mommy and I posing with the stone grandpas. 

We then went for dinner at the black pork street! 

YUP. FOOD. VERY Yummy and we were so lucky to have found a spot right outside the restaurant! Lots of side dishes, I ate A LOT!!! Couldn't taste the difference between black pork and normal pork though. But the pork at this restaurant was definitely thicker and juicer. Very yummy!!! I loveeee!

Yeah, we got ice cream!!! (ew my ugly chipped nails)

Here are a few pictures of the guesthouse we stayed in! It's called Mir Guesthouse. The owner, Peter, was VERY friendly and helpful. So thankful to have met him! He helped us a great lot with calling the car centre place as we wanted to return our car a day early. He also helped us with directions by talking to the taxi driver. SO hospitable, we definitely had a LOVELY stay in Mir Guesthouse!

Here's our room (M2)! I did not take a picture of it inside because it was very small, and messy!

We get sandwiches for breakfast! P.s. you make them yourself! 

You can go to the rooftop, here's the (misty) view! 

We then hopped on a taxi and went to Jeju Airport for our flight back to Seoul!!!

Kiasu la, like that also wanna take pictures! LOL

It was a short and sweet ride back to Seoul! 

Met up with Jin, had jjajangmyun (black bean noodles) and Jangpong (spicy seafood noodles) via delivery and headed out to Garosugil next! More in the next post! ;)